WHEN GRAVITY FAILS

Dunia kanitonesha kidonda

Mgongo ikanipa

Machozi yakatiririka

Nikatiwa dhihaka

Kweli walisema, mapenzi kikohozi,

Hayawezi fichika

Ndo maana naandika

Ili kujifariji

I’m sorry the world has been cruel to people and a while back, my cousin Babra posted something like “God heal my cousin” while referring to me.

I’ve never been so hurt by a stranger and it has never occurred to me that a person as such would be the one to tear me down. I remember when the news got to me, I was supposed to make chapos. Upon seeing that, I had tears. Tears that I quickly hid before anyone could see them. I can assure you that day my chapos didn’t turn out round as they always do. My insides were burning, my hands were shaking and my heart was definitely broken.

Her location, Lusaka Zambia. ‘An author’. I wouldn’t want to touch much on that story because anything I write may make me get sued. To cut the story short, I reached out to her Instagram with rants of how her page speaks of women rights yet she is here bringing a fellow human down. Women are cruel guys. Stay away. I ended up being blocked.

When I say mapenzi ni kikohozi, what she did pierced me and I couldn’t keep it hidden for long. I had to tell someone who would be of help. She took what I loved. Though inanimate, I treasured it. I now have come to terms that I’ve lost it and probably for good. The past month has been really tough and I wasn’t sure I’d write again.

You see on days that you feel the world doesn’t appreciate you,

Your efforts seem invisible and Dearest God seemed to have skipped your prayer request so you choose to run.

You run away from everyone who seems to bound you.

I think I will continue running away from fears and remember that dawn is near.

Put a smile on and pretend you are okay.

Start an era of acting if things don’t get well soon. Remember that humans will tear you so don’t dare break.

When everything in your life seems to crumb before you and you want to term things as “when gravity fails.” Its not everyday that you dine with a people on a table that you don’t belong. The very people that you want to count on in the midst of an adversary. Little do you know that their speeches refer to you and not any other person. You wish you had known sooner. You want to seek for closure but it won’t be of help so you choose to lead a free spirit life. To be human is to have ups and downs, a journey where your things are perfect in one minute and chaos in the next.

When gravity fails, don’t fight it. Instead find beauty in chaos, meander around and the universe will place you where you belong. The centre. Your past may not promise liberty, the present may be in shambles, tomorrow remains unpromised but chance happens to everyone. The memories you hold dearest may cause pain but you are who God wants you to be. He has good plans for you. (Jeremiah 29:11)

When your things are floating around and you don’t have control, don’t fret. As Ocean Vuong said “the most important thing is to be alive. Everything else is just noise.”

“we are all migrants through time.”

I take immense pride in my successes and a cry or two in secret when I fail.

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