STRENGTH TO SMILE

I knew him from class

I sent him links to join the online classes

Till he dissappeared and I knew him not.

I saw him a year later

We waved often

Then the side hugs

I'd compliment his drawing skills every time he posted

I never really knew him till he shared his story

Story to be immortalized;

" I remember the nights where the ghosts left a note to torment me. Mental notes, voice notes even. I still reflect on the lived experiences and enduring circumstances that have shaped my growth.

I was born and by being born I didn't choose where, when, how or what I'll be. I was born of a poor mother as much as I'd hate to say it but yes; that's how it was. In her state, she ensured I had access to the best education that was. I never realized I was different . It never occurred to me. At kindergarten, the children would play away from me so I found solace playing alone. Far into the play fields. Not that I knew what was happening, but at a very young age I'd play alone and spend time with books. I was equivocal the day I was termed as 'different', that boy with a cleft lip.

I had many titles. The seventh grader who taught eighth graders after school ,the weird and unattractive boy, I had a lot some of which I cant say. I was smart but by being smart, it still didn't mask away my appearance and that is what people immediately saw. At this point, I set my eyes on Nguviu boys, the best school in Embu. I held on to the hope that by being there, I'd forget everything that had been of my life before. I'd get to have a fresh start.

I stepped into that beautiful compound in the morning of February 2016. A hot February

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as usual armed with my metallic box and an eager to learn. Little did I know that this was the place that I'd get a full blown effect of being an outcast. I was ridiculed often, bullied, always the target of mockery in regards to my mouth, nose and other inherent trait. Being the only cleft lipped student in a population of 800 students was something else. I was part of the statistics. I was barely welcomed with open arms. They barely saw me as a competitor and it was tough.

It took nights of sleeping early to reduce the hours of torment and days spent in the library to avoid interaction with people who didn't view me as a fellow person. I barely existed -my existence was woven around a finger, places of hiding.

I can't really recall what was going through my mind then, but I knew I had to make a difference. That evening in the second term of my sophomore year,I stood up and decided to make an address to the whole school. My legs were trembling, I could feel a sweat dripping but I had a mission to complete. I spoke of how their actions had made me feel unwelcomed, how my journey in school had been a dreaded one and how they should treat people like me with respect.

Being in a boy's school, most believed that a man should toughen up. By now you should guess that I didn't necessarily get a perfect response and people would treat me as I wanted. But true to it, some treated me way better. I was finally included and seen. Others continued in their mockery but this time I didn't budge. I was made chair of Math club and CU society. My grades improved because I had finally accepted who I was. I ended up topping in my school in the KCSE exams.

I definitely didn't change my looks but my mindset. I was out to conquer the world and achieve to my fullest potential. I learnt to love myself and what I represented. I excelled and I owe my excellence till now to the hardships that push me to being. They shape me and motivate me to make the best out of life. I may be odd, but I am undeniably me. There is no other me that I can clone.

I am determined to bring change, champion against society stereotypes and self acceptance. To the people out there battling with God knows what, you cannot be just a statistics to be overlooked, change begins with you. "

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Hello lovely readers;

I wrote this with so much sadness that people get to experience things that could have been stopped.

Go out there and treat everyone with kindness. Love and Light!

If you'd like to engage with the writer, find me on instagram _mutai.mutinda

or email me on bettcaro92@gmail.com

remember to like, comment and give feedback.

adios