I'VE DATED A 100 MEN

I've dated a 100 men.

Ubavu wao ukawa wangu, or whatever it is I tried to convince myself.

So let me begin;

I have loved poetic men who are so fast to tell me

"Oh Carolina, nitakupa mahaba na hautawai kosa hata kibaba,

Nitakujazia vyote utakavyo na sitawai kuliza"

I have fallen for the ones who have been too quick to profess their undying love for poetry but would never step out for a poetic event with me.

The shy ones have had a soft spot in me. Even in a million years and in a world where everyone needs to prove themselves, I will still go for these ones.

Niambie unachokifikiria mie nitakuskiza na kukufariji. I will make you seen.

I am a church girl but ......I want a badddd boy. Show me thy ways. Go MIA for a week and still come back and gaslight me. Tell me it was a rage trap and you will make up for the sins you have committed. I will sit and say, "Oh dearest it's okay, your sins are forgiven. Come we reason together."

To the church boy, bado moyoni nina nafasi, but probably you need a baddie. Someone better than I. In case you never find someone, I'll be here playing the piano.

I have loved the men who are so quick to admit they take something from a store just to experience the adrenaline rush. Ni Sawa basi, niibie Kwa sababu roho yangu ulishaiteka.

I have loved men from Kisumu and Homabay, probably because it gives me a chance to be near my favorite food for a lifetime. Hata wakinitenda uzuri nina nia ya kustahimili ukatili.

I have loved a footballer. I have seen the way they dribble the ball and use the field as their runway. Usijali, mie pia naeza kua uwanja wako for the ball is on you.

To the broken men; I will fix you. Maybe. For some reason, I am so attracted to unavailability. I have so much love to give such that the overflowing one will cater for you. Let me be your therapist and psychologist.

To the men who don't know how to match my poetic side, moyo ukishapenda umependa. Go collaborate with ChatGPT to curate perfect lines for me.

To the men who love lying, lie to me. Niambie mi ni mtamu na hujawai ona kama huyu. Tell me I am the most beautiful girl in the planet. Lie to me. Niambie utanipeleka kwa wazazi na vitenge tutashonesha.

I have loved the smart ones. Yes, please reread my work. Challenge me to see who's smarter. Ask me about the Ukraine and Russia war. Ask me about the Taiping war in China. Tell me the most random out-of-pocket facts. Jibu nitakupa na nitakuchunga kama rasilimali muhimu.

Ooh and to the men who don't see without your specs; I have loved this set. Specs will take you from a solid 3 to a solid 7. Your blindness will make you not see my red flags so that's a plus.

I have loved short men. The kind that they are shorter than everyone else but uzuri you are taller than me. Everyone is.

To the men who work out, natumai misuli zenu hazitaniumiza. I hope you don't have thick neck muscles. On days when you skip the gym at least you can lift me. That will count.

To the men whose lingo I have stolen, nyinyi mmekua wanoma tu Sana. Mistari zenu nimepeleka kwa wengine lakini usijali. You and I will think of others.

I have loved men who don't love back. The kind that my friends get embarrassed on my behalf. These things take time and I have loads of that.

I have loved men who are so neat that it scares me because I'm not.

I have been with someone who has liked Jemutai more than Carol Bett and I'm still trying to figure out what that means. In his defense, he said, Carol Bett is a shell of what everyone knows but Jemutai is what he has come to know.

I have loved light-skinned men. Wanaume warembo hata jua yatishiwa. You have been a sunshine and at some point I hoped they'll be mini us but they'd look more like you.

Aaah I love these men.

I have dated 100 men but 99 of them don't know I did.

You reading this, I've probably dated you too!

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Hello fam!

This time I don't have a solid excuse why I disappeared for this long.

I am back and I hope you enjoyed this entry. Please share lest we are forgotten by the world.

Like and comment.

Loads of love and light.

Life update

Turned 23 yay!

Bagged a first class, ufff!

Got a hold of Jackson Biko's new book "Little Big Fights"

Please tell people you love them often, they might not be here tomorrow.