Have you ever felt so empty and desolate? You add desolate to it to create an illusion of how the earth was before God started creating the earth.
You feel so out of place every time and a couple of close people ask "Are you depressed?"
Depressed? The word ponders behind your head and you search for it's meaning convincing yourself you ain't depressed.
Someone else states that depression is when you have less of happy times other than sad times.
You start thinking about how often you are sad and just mask yourself occasionally with a happy face.
You look for free lanced therapy because your friends seem to excel at it. You definitely aren't okay.
You get mad in the morning and decide you won't talk to anyone so instead you buy bundles and head on to the bird app. Twitter. You come across a tweet that reads "if you are sad text your mother."
You stare blankly as if this is the sign you have been looking for. You decide to call instead because your mother will take ages to text back. Twenty minutes into the call and you smile. For those few minutes you forget that you were sad. You start feeling like the world revolves around you again. Unbeknownst to you it won't last ahaaaa.
You call up a friend to give you company and she says she isn't in a good mood so she won't come because she's usually very boring if she's down.
You insist and say "we'll sleep if we have to."
She comes and the only thing that you needed was presence. Absence makes the heart grow fonder but presence makes you heal. It makes you escape your thoughts.
Those very thoughts that keep disturbing you. They aren't bad. No. It's just that you want a clear mind. Probably a blank one. You pray to God that when you sleep may your mind be blank yet you end up having those very thoughts over and over again ni kama yanafanya marudio. You finally sleep.
You sleep not anticipating for tomorrow. Tomorrow may be worse. Tomorrow may be like the day before yesterday when you walked in town talking to yourself and this did draw some attention. Dear readers; this wasn't the first time heeeh👐🏾she needs a mask. A mask to talk under.
Empty or depressed or masked ✨
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