A NON-WEARY TRAVELER

I had a clear road map of who I wanted to be. As I sat at that Elimisha gala I thought, what if all those people in that room wrote of their stories? What if everyone was to appear before a jury and explain what life had done to them this far? What if they were a special guest in a podcast, would they speak confidently of who they were today?

Well, I am a lover girl and certainly I thought of my love life first. 

I remember that night, a hot night in January before I tangled my hair in my bonnet. Before the crisp of that lonely sheet would touch my skin. Well, I wore my favourite sleeping shorts and the lightest vest I could find because the condition wouldn't permit me to wear my warm pyjamas.

Then I started to pray.

I added him in my prayer.....again

Without knowing his face, 

How he looked like,

If he wore designer cologne or fake ones from Dubois

I knelt and prayed and imagined if I ever had him I'd hold his hand all around town

We'd be the kind that walks slowly in CBD and have people lashing out at us

I prayed that he'd be a good guy

Soft-spoken friendly courteous

I hoped when it was time for him to appear 

Everyone would know he was meant for me 

I hope our personality would synch up and make such a beautiful duo

I hope when he sees me he'll treasure my favourite colour yellow

And when all these things come to pass 

I'll post him on social media

Not to flex 

But to let the world know I found what's mine

That night, my prayer wasn't ordinary. I slept in peace waiting for the extraordinary to happen in the morning but ooops!!

I read too many romance books on wattpad back then.

Again aside from the love life, I thought of other aspects in my life. 

Of how I had a mortifying ordeal to be known. One that knew no shame. I wanted to stand up in a room and reintroduce myself.

I wanted to think of things never thought of.

I wanted my ideologies to come to life. 

I wanted to think of a mopper and just derive a motivational quote from it like oooh "Be like a mopper, no matter where you mop, be it a statehouse, a classroom floor or a toilet, you will remain a mopper."

Doesn't make sense right? My sense of humour is still bad guys. 

I want people to know a story of not just a girl who grew up in Umoja. One who when asked why she doesn't know how to ride a bike or swim she always has a story of how she was being busy hanging out with teenagy-adults nextdoor who called her 'mkale.'

I remember how it was fun being with Pollyne, Joyce and their brother Steve. I loved those souls with everything in me and my mother would let me stay with them whenever I wanted. Of course I have blurred memories of those times but what I know is I wanted to be somehow just like them. So loving, so caring, so sarcastic and life to them seemed worth living. 

Growing up there, it somehow denied me of being a child. I constantly felt superior around other kids. I acted smarter, better and somehow it sipped into my character as an adult.

If they ever find this blog , bless up and reach out.

I always think of how life allows us to become. 

To become what we wish to and being a Gen Z, I am convinced that each one of us will make it in life.

I have no room for negativity or any slight thought that some people will end up not fulfilling their dreams.

The dreams I inhabit does not allow me to become a weary traveler. 

I will walk, run, fly, grow my own wings, slow down just to see them accomplished.

I will write on my journal and come back to it years later and think, "ooh Bett dearest, are you sure?"

I will in turn hold my chin up high, take a deep breath and dream some more.

The metamorphosis of my growth journey I believe is much more beautiful than that of a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. 

I can confidently attest before people that 'umbali Mungu amenitoa, ni yeye ajuaye.' 

Same should be for you.

Dearest reader,

I want you to free yourself from things that can keep you apart from achieving your goals. I want you to believe that you were born to explore borders. You will travel the world, you will be international, you will be whatever you want.

As my friend Malkia says "I will live life not in halves. Live while you still can." So should you!

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Hello dearest reader,

It's been a while and I have been struggling to get back to writing

But it is well, life happens

I hope you enjoyed this particular entry

Remember to comment, like and share

Your feedback is highly appreciated.

Love and light

You can always reach out to me through

bettcaro92@gmail.com

or my instagram page at _mutai.mutinda